Sunday, September 26, 2010

I think I've found the one

It's a little early to get too excited, but I am anyway.  I think we have found a donor. If said future donor is reading this, I hope it's okay that I'm blogging about it. I've been wanting to ask him, but didn't think he would be willing to.  It's not an easy decision.  I jokingly asked him yesterday and he seriously said he would! Nothing is set in stone, but I feel a tad hopeful that it will work out.  He's young, adorable, and gay; my three favorite qualities! :) I don't think I want to do this right away though.  I want to get into a little better shape than I'm in now, physically and mentally.  We still need to discuss things with him and get legal papers drawn up.  I want him to be a part of the child's life, if he chooses, but not as a father obviously, but an uncle or something.  Anyway, this is all in theory at the moment, so I'm trying not to get too excited, but I can't help myself! So, I guess "operation baby" is starting. I'll keep you posted!

Vegan Care Package Swap

I was so excited when I got my vegan care package swap that Lindsay @ cook.vegan.lover. hosted! My partner was Carol from St. Louis.  Here's the loot:

* vegan stroganoff 
*gf oatmeal cookies
*gf mac & cheese
* vegan orange "jello"
*brown rice marshmallow treats
*chocolate raspberry bar
*bumble energy bars
*cowboy candy

These are so good! I'm eating one as I type.
I might have to keep these in my desk at work for afternoon snacks

I can't wait to try this for lunch today! It's perfect comfort food
Thank you Lindsay for hosting this! I had so much fun! Thank you Carol for all the goodies! Yours should be there any day... :)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Oh Sookie Sookie

TGIF! Today is day 13 of my 30 days: a fictional book.  I've decided to write about  a book, or in this case a series of books that I want to read. I love Sookie.  I loved her from the start and I'm not exactly sure why.  I love that she was never scared of Bill, loves her friends like family and tells it like it is.

I want this pretty boxed set

I have been wanting to read these for awhile now, but I've been a tad hesitant thinking they will ruin True Blood for me.  More than a few people I know who have read these, love the books and  find True Blood not as good as they once thought.  We haven't even watched season 3 of True Blood that just ended.  Such a dilemma.  I will probably read them anyway and end up liking them better, but isn't that always the case?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I never finish what I start...

Apparently, committing to blogging everyday is something I cannot do.  Sometimes at the end of the day, I just don't have the energy for it.  It's pathetic, I know.  I hate when I start things and don't finish them. I'm very good at that and I want to change this part of me.  So, as boring as my posts may be, I am going to finish my 30 day project! On to day 12.... Something you are OCD about...

Pretty, pretty organized books

I could write a book about this, but I'll spare you and just choose one.  Even though my "career" as a bookseller has been over for about 6 or 7 years, I still harbor one habit.  I cannot go into  any bookstore anywhere and not start straightening books. They could be on shelves or tables, it doesn't matter.  I have this urge to fix them and make them all organized and pretty. Once I start, it's hard to stop. I just have to keep going.  It's a sickness really. Cary has to intervene and tell me to stop.  Do any of you former booksellers have this habit? I need help...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

No more guilt?

 Before I get back to 30 days, I just want to thank everyone for their positive comments.  I am not feeling so guilty anymore.  I realized that maybe this happened for a reason to show me that I don't want a child that age and truly want a baby.  When we talk to the resource coordinator, we are going to tell her this.  It may take longer to get a placement, but we feel this is the right decision.   We're also not ruling out another IUI in the future.  C thinks I need to get "healthier" physically and mentally before we do that again and I agree, or maybe we can actually find a willing donor. Any takers out there? Anyway, that's the update on the baby front...

I've realized I've missed quite a few posts for my 30 days project.  Day 10 is a photo of you taken over 10 years ago.  I don't have anything that old on my computer so I'm skipping this one.  Day 11 is a photo of you recently.  I hate getting my picture taken, but I guess I'll share this one because it's so rare that a photo is taken of me and our crazy dog Lucy.

She looks pretty scared, probably because I was trying to get her to look at the computer. 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I am officially a horrible person

We finally had our first placement last night.  He was an almost 2 year old boy.  It was a horrible experience for everyone, especially me.  Neither C or I got any sleep last night.  I was up crying because I just couldn't handle it and I feel so bad about the whole thing.  I didn't feel very "motherly" with him, which completely scared me.  Maybe I wouldn't make a good mother.  I'm dealing with all kinds of emotions right now.  I do know that I don't want a placement with a child that age. I definitely want a baby.  I can handle babies.  I had to call the social worker and tell her I didn't think we could keep him. I've never felt so much guilt and like a total failure.  Hopefully I will make sense of all this at some point.  That's all I can say for now...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 9- A Photo That You Took (yeah, I skipped day 8...)

I'm not a good photographer, but I secretly long to be.  These days I take tons of pictures with my iPhone. I swear it takes better pictures than our digital.  This is one of the many, many pictures taken at the Farm Sanctuary.  It is the best place on earth to me.  I can't wait to go back...

Our tour guide and a friend on our second trip to the Farm

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Day 6 & 7-20 Favorite Things & A Photo That Makes You Happy

Not in any particular order...

The first ten in pictures:

 My MacBook
Vegan soft serve ice cream

"Celebration for the Turkeys" @ Farm Sanctuary

My crazy family
My tattoos
All my fur babies

11- Our condo
12- "baby smell"
13- Spending time with C
14- Chocolate
15- Shoes
16- Old friendships
17- Health food stores
18- My new job
19- My iPhone
20- baby clothes

Day  7- A Photo That Makes You Happy

I love this picture of C I took.  He looks happy and content with who he is and cute too! :)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Day 5- Favorite quote

This stands just at the entrance to the Farm Sanctuary.  No truer words have ever been spoken.

On a different note, we found out officially that T went back to his original foster parents.  It sucks. I just hope he's okay. 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Day 3 and Day 4

I obviously didn't post anything yesterday, so I'm putting day 3 and 4 together of my 30 days.

Day 3- Favorite TV Show

There are so many tv shows I like: Lost, Queer as Folk, US of Tara, True Blood... I could go on, so I will pick one that is new (at least to me) that I've been watching. Torchwood.
I can be a bit of a sci-fi geek. Torchwood is a spin off of Dr. Who, which I never really liked too much, but I am obsessed with this one!  This show has it all really; aliens, action, humor, brits and a little boy on boy action. What more could you ask for? Here's a little clip:

On to Day 4- Favorite book

Again, there are too many to choose from.  One author that always moves me with his honesty and humor is Augusten Burroughs.  I know most people know him for Running with Scissors, but my favorite of his is Dry.

Dry is a bit darker than his others, but I think it was the most honest and humorous. It's about his struggle with alcoholism and eventually going into rehab.  It made me laugh and cry at the same time. I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Day 2- Just a Spoonful of Sugar...

Day 2 of 30 Days- Favorite Movie

C got me this 45th anniversary edition for my b-day this year
My love for Mary Poppins knows no bounds.  Okay, so maybe I'm a bit obsessed. My mother said that I used to drive her insane wanting to watch it multiple times a day when I was little.  I still have the same love for it today. On my list of things I want to do/share with my children is introduce them to this magical movie.

Here is my favorite MP song.  You will probably get these songs in your head. Your welcome...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Day 1- Favorite song

It's difficult to pick one favorite song, so I will pick a song from my favorite band.  Even though this is probably their most well known song, I still love it.  I never tire of hearing it and it is fantastic live.  One day I will see them live...

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

Sunday, September 5, 2010

30 Days

It seems like I've seen this on every blog I've looked at in the last few weeks or so.  I don't usually follow the norm, but thought this would be a good way to get me blogging more and for the 2 of you that actually read said blog could get to know me better.  Here it is: 30 blogs for 30 days. Oh, and since I'm such a procrastinator, I will start this tomorrow... :)
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future