Sunday, October 31, 2010

By the way, I'm getting married Wednesday...

So, the time's coming for us to start TTC again.   I got my new blood work done Friday, so hopefully the results won't be too much worse than they were last year.  The bad news is I don't think they have the same donor we used last year, so we'll have to pick another one. I'm getting excited though!

Oh yeah, C and I are getting married Wednesday night. Yes, I did just type that, and no I'm not kidding. We got our license last week and found a Justice of the Peace to do it.  We're not having a ceremony or anything.  If we were at home with our families we probably would, but really, I've never been a white dress/bridesmaids/flowers kind of girl anyway. The JOP is coming to our house for a short and sweet "ceremony".  I'm sure it will happen amongst Lucy barking, and the cats crying for their food, so it won't be too boring. We're actually thinking of getting matching tattoos to honor the occasion.  We can't do anything "normal" after all.   After 10 years, it's about time we got married, right? :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Good Stuff

It seems like all I do is whine and complain here, so I thought I'd let you in on some more positive news.

* C's insurance covers unlimited artificial inseminations and 2 IVF's. I'm not sure if they cover the whole IUI or just the actual insemination, but either way, that's fantastic! Now, I just need to get on it. Which brings me to...

* C and I got our marriage license today! I know for some of you this may be coming out of nowhere, but really, after 10 years should you be that surprised? We just need to find a Justice of the Peace and set up the day! (Hopefully within the next couple of weeks)

* I have a new layout for my blog if you haven't noticed. I also have a grab button which I've always wanted! It was designed by Casey at .  I love it!

* C's step-dad is doing much better and is out of ICU. He still has a way to go, but he's much much better than he was.

I'll be sure to let everyone know when our "wedding day" is! :)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Crazy week

I am so glad that last week is over.  It was long, emotional and exhausting. Here's some of what happened:

  • Work was crazy busy. We are short one person and another is on vacation. I still love my job, but it was actually a little bit stressful.
  • We had a meeting with the coordinator for the foster program. Let's just say that it wasn't pretty. I basically cried the whole time. Not just regular crying, but the can't catch your breath kind that makes you seem crazy. Yeah, it was great. Basically, we don't have enough "experience" with kids.  Another foster parent made a comment to her that while I was holding her foster child (that she pretty much threw at me to feed), I wasn't holding him "right" and he didn't eat enough. Seriously.  Anyway, we were told we can't be foster parents if we're trying to get pregnant, which I think is odd.  So, we were put on a hold status. Now that I think about it, I'm, kind of relieved and maybe we can focus on getting pregnant again.  I'm hoping to start in December either with a friend of ours or with an IUI at the hospital.
  • One positive thing that happened was my new RE doctor. I absolutely love him! He is realistic, but still positive. As he said, he's not willing to throw the towel in on me yet. I am getting all my blood work done again on my next cycle, so he can compare numbers.  He doesn't think we've tried enough to really get an accurate idea of what's going on. 
  • We are hoping that C's insurance covers infertility and if I can get on it. This would be the best thing that could happen if they would pay for some IUI's.  It's really my first choice of how to do this.
  • C's step-dad is really sick and in the hospital in ICU.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers and send good vibes his way if you can.
Here's hoping that next week fares better...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I am going to get pregnant dammit!

Next week I go see a new infertility doc. I hope I like him better than the last one, even though he's in the same hospital and the same office.  I've heard nothing but good things about him though. I have so many questions for him.  I got some disturbing news Friday before I left work.  I had them do some blood work (FSH & TSH) for me last week just to see what my FSH was since I haven't had it done in a year and it was free. Turns out my FSH which was 16 last year came back as 21!  Now, for those of you who don't understand what this means, it's very bad.  Anything over 13 isn't good, meaning my ovarian reserve is extremely low. I cried, thinking there is no way I'm going to get pregnant now! But, I'm trying to wait until I talk with the new doc about all of this. I know the number can fluctuate and should be taken on cycle day 3, (it was taken mid-cycle) so I'm hoping that is the reason it was so high.  There are also so many other tests and variables. I wanted to start trying next month, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen.  I am so ready to start again. I feel like I'm in a much different place than before. I am determined to get pregnant dammit! I no longer have a fear of being pregnant either. This is what I want and I'm going to get it...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Saturday morning thoughts (and fears)

I feel like making a list. I love lists; they make me feel organized and together. Here are my thoughts and fears on this beautiful fall morning:

  • I'm actually feeling a bit better after being sick for 3 days 
  • I'm getting all my "infertility blood work"  done again (for free!)  at work next week.  I'm scared my FSH will be higher than it was last year 
  • I'm worried that I won't have a donor in time for either November or December and we can't afford any IUI's at the hospital right now
  • I'm very happy for C- he got a new job! I think he will be much happier 
  • Lately I've been thinking that I don't want to be a foster parent (and I feel very guilty about it).  If we can't conceive, I really want to adopt and I'm going to look more into this
  • I want to put all of the "baby stuff" away. It's getting hard looking at it all. Tomcat might get mad at me though, since he loves to take naps in the crib
  • I have a lot to do and no energy to do it- cleaning the house, grocery store, pet store, cleaning the yard... 
  • I so want to go to the Farm Sanctuary's Celebration for the Turkeys, but it's $50 a person this year.  We'll have to see...
Well, this list looks more depressing than I thought it would! Sorry about that... I hope everyone has a good weekend! 

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The rest of 30 Days

I never do things the "normal" way, so I'm going to finish my 30 Days in this one post in pictures...

Day 15- Dream house

Day 16-  A song that makes you cry: I seriously couldn't think of one...

Day 17- An art piece
I love Frida Kahlo. That is all.

Day 18- My Wedding- When Cary & I finally get married for real, there will be no white dress or tux or even bridesmaids, but there will definitely be pretty vegan, gluten free cupcakes

Day 19- A talent of yours: I don't think I have any! Isn't that sad? Yes, it is very sad...

Day 20- A hobby
I'm not sure being an activist is a "hobby", but it's the closest thing I've got

Day 21- A recipe
I'm not sure it's really kosher that I'm posting a recipe from  Alicia Silverstone's book, but these are the best "rice krispy like" treats you will have

Day 22- A website
Your Daily Vegan
You know you want to check it out
Day 23- A YouTube video-
This is hilarious 

Day 24- Where you live
Vermont really is beautiful

Day 25 and Day 26- Your day and week in great detail- yeah, this would probably be boring so I'll save you from that

Day 27- Your worst habit
I tend to be very negative. It's always a work in progress for me

Day 28- What's in your purse/handbag
This isn't everything, but I do carry more of a messenger bag.
wallet, sunglasses, glasses, make-up bag, herbs, security card for work, hand sanitizer, pens, & a moleskine

Day 29 & 30- Hopes dreams & plans for the next year/ dream for the future
Yes, I think the picture pretty much says it all and is the whole reason for my blog