Saturday, January 30, 2010

Fail #2

I really got my hopes up this time. My period is never late. So, when I didn't start when I should have I got a little excited. Three days after I was supposed to start I called my nurse and she scheduled a blood test for me this past Thursday. I think everyone was convinced that I was really pregnant. (including me) I was even nauseous every morning last week! When I got the phone call Friday morning from the lab and the woman told me it was negative it was like I got punched in the gut. It was a horrible feeling and I couldn't stop crying. I never wished so much to have at least a little privacy at work. I was a complete mess and could barely talk when I called C and then my Mom. I left work early and hope I don't get in too much trouble, but I had to get out of there.

So, here I am 5 days late and no signs that I'm going to start. It makes no sense at all. The woman at the lab said that if I still haven't started by Monday to call my doctors and they might have to induce my period. I have no idea how they do that though. I'm still very sad, but now I'm a little angry. I'm not sure what or who I'm angry at, but I am determined to get pregnant and have a baby! Maybe third time is the charm? I guess I have to wait and start my period first...

Friday, January 8, 2010

Fertility drugs are making me crazy

I just realized that it's been awhile since I've written anything. Actually, it's been a month exactly. I had a harder time dealing with the first try not working than I thought I did and I was having doubts about whether or not I should even continue. It all resulted in a few panic attacks, some crying, and a visit to my therapist. The one thing I do know for sure is that I will regret it if I don't try at all, so here we are trying again.

This time around I'm taking Clomid. These little pills are making me crazy! My emotions are all over the place, and for 2 days now while at work, I've felt very on edge and like I'm going to come out of my skin. It's crazy stuff. Thank God I only have to take it for 5 days at a time. Hopefully though it will up my chances of getting pregnant, and with 1 baby. I have a 10% chance of having twins, which is rather frightening. So, the big day for round 2 should probably be sometime next week. I will keep everyone informed!