Vegan Care Package Swap

I was so excited when I got my vegan care package swap that Lindsay @ cook.vegan.lover. hosted! My partner was Carol from St. Louis.  Here's the loot:

* vegan stroganoff 

*gf oatmeal cookies

*gf mac & cheese

* vegan orange "jello"

*brown rice marshmallow treats

*chocolate raspberry bar

*bumble energy bars

*cowboy candy

These are so good! I'm eating one as I type.
I might have to keep these in my desk at work for afternoon snacks

I can't wait to try this for lunch today! It's perfect comfort food

Thank you Lindsay for hosting this! I had so much fun! Thank you Carol for all the goodies! Yours should be there any day... :)

Oh Sookie Sookie

TGIF! Today is day 13 of my 30 days: a fictional book.  I've decided to write about  a book, or in this case a series of books that I want to read. I love Sookie.  I loved her from the start and I'm not exactly sure why.  I love that she was never scared of Bill, loves her friends like family and tells it like it is.

I want this pretty boxed set

I have been wanting to read these for awhile now, but I've been a tad hesitant thinking they will ruin True Blood for me.  More than a few people I know who have read these, love the books and  find True Blood not as good as they once thought.  We haven't even watched season 3 of True Blood that just ended.  Such a dilemma.  I will probably read them anyway and end up liking them better, but isn't that always the case?

I never finish what I start...

Apparently, committing to blogging everyday is something I cannot do.  Sometimes at the end of the day, I just don't have the energy for it.  It's pathetic, I know.  I hate when I start things and don't finish them. I'm very good at that and I want to change this part of me.  So, as boring as my posts may be, I am going to finish my 30 day project! On to day 12.... Something you are OCD about...

Pretty, pretty organized books

I could write a book about this, but I'll spare you and just choose one.  Even though my "career" as a bookseller has been over for about 6 or 7 years, I still harbor one habit.  I cannot go into  any bookstore anywhere and not start straightening books. They could be on shelves or tables, it doesn't matter.  I have this urge to fix them and make them all organized and pretty. Once I start, it's hard to stop. I just have to keep going.  It's a sickness really. Cary has to intervene and tell me to stop.  Do any of you former booksellers have this habit? I need help...

No more guilt?

 Before I get back to 30 days, I just want to thank everyone for their positive comments.  I am not feeling so guilty anymore.  I realized that maybe this happened for a reason to show me that I don't want a child that age and truly want a baby.  When we talk to the resource coordinator, we are going to tell her this.  It may take longer to get a placement, but we feel this is the right decision.   We're also not ruling out another IUI in the future.  C thinks I need to get "healthier" physically and mentally before we do that again and I agree, or maybe we can actually find a willing donor. Any takers out there? Anyway, that's the update on the baby front...

I've realized I've missed quite a few posts for my 30 days project.  Day 10 is a photo of you taken over 10 years ago.  I don't have anything that old on my computer so I'm skipping this one.  Day 11 is a photo of you recently.  I hate getting my picture taken, but I guess I'll share this one because it's so rare that a photo is taken of me and our crazy dog Lucy.

She looks pretty scared, probably because I was trying to get her to look at the computer. 

I am officially a horrible person

We finally had our first placement last night.  He was an almost 2 year old boy.  It was a horrible experience for everyone, especially me.  Neither C or I got any sleep last night.  I was up crying because I just couldn't handle it and I feel so bad about the whole thing.  I didn't feel very "motherly" with him, which completely scared me.  Maybe I wouldn't make a good mother.  I'm dealing with all kinds of emotions right now.  I do know that I don't want a placement with a child that age. I definitely want a baby.  I can handle babies.  I had to call the social worker and tell her I didn't think we could keep him. I've never felt so much guilt and like a total failure.  Hopefully I will make sense of all this at some point.  That's all I can say for now...

Day 9- A Photo That You Took (yeah, I skipped day 8...)

I'm not a good photographer, but I secretly long to be.  These days I take tons of pictures with my iPhone. I swear it takes better pictures than our digital.  This is one of the many, many pictures taken at the Farm Sanctuary.  It is the best place on earth to me.  I can't wait to go back...

Our tour guide and a friend on our second trip to the Farm

Day 6 & 7-20 Favorite Things & A Photo That Makes You Happy

Not in any particular order...

The first ten in pictures:

Fall

Christmas

 My MacBook

Vegan soft serve ice cream

Coffee

"Celebration for the Turkeys" @ Farm Sanctuary

My crazy family

My tattoos

Bookstores

All my fur babies

11- Our condo
12- "baby smell"
13- Spending time with C
14- Chocolate
15- Shoes
16- Old friendships
17- Health food stores
18- My new job
19- My iPhone
20- baby clothes

Day  7- A Photo That Makes You Happy

I love this picture of C I took.  He looks happy and content with who he is and cute too! :)