New beginnings

Mere moments ago, I emailed my resignation to my job of three years.  I am terrified. I know it is the right decision, but I'm not one who likes change. Even though I am miserable at my current job, I still  had that moment of panic when I hit the send button on that email. In a couple of weeks I will be starting a new job for an organization that I strongly support and hopefully be working with and for positive people. I have a good feeling about this.

Maybe this is the start of many new beginnings for C and I.  Maybe this will show the universe that I'm ready for change in my life and will send us a baby to love and take care of.  Who knows? I do know that I am trying to let things go and not let my anxiety take over.  It's definitely a work in progress though.

On a completely different topic. Here is an empowering story about a woman who had a caesarian birth.  It is a totally different look at having a caesarian.

On an even different topic, C's birthday was over the weekend.  I made him his favorite pie- vegan  maple peanut butter pie:

 

We also went to one of our favorite restaurants.  I had an amazing thai veggie stir fry, yummy!

 and C had some pad thai... 

I guess that's it for now, but here's to new beginnings!

Beautiful video

This video of a water birth is just breathtakingly beautiful. If I ever have the opportunity to have a child of my own, this is how I would like it to be. I know things don't always work out the way you plan, but this would be how I would want it. We may try again, but not for a few months, but who knows. Right now we are still just waiting for that phone call for us to get a foster baby. We have finished all of our training, including the adoption training. We are very well trained now! Like I've said before, it's just waiting game and I can't stand it!

For now, just enjoy this video. It made me cry and will probably make you too. Consider yourself forewarned...

http://offbeatmama.com/2010/06/water-birth-video

Sadness

Sad... It's the only word I can think of to describe how I'm feeling at the moment. It feels like we're never going to get "the call". I know I need to be patient and it will happen at the right time, but it isn't easy. Lately I've been having that yearning for having my own baby. It overwhelms me at times. I sit in the "baby room" and it all seems to mock me. The crib all made up, the clothes and all the things a baby needs just sitting there not being used. It seems like it would be so much easier, instead of all the waiting, rules, etc. that comes with fostering and adopting. We started our adoption classes last week, which seems a little strange seeing that we aren't even foster parents yet. I just want to be a mom and have a baby that is all mine-is that so wrong? This has been such an emotional roller coaster already that I just hope I have the strength to get through it when we actually have a child. Some days I'm not so sure I will.